Good to have you back this week, Tyren. For a start, let's get to some funny stories from your time at Santos, where you spent a huge chunk of your career.
I remember one time we were playing some team, but I can't remember the name of the team. But I think it was in Ghana or somewhere. I don't know if you know Thokozani Xaba.
Of course, the blonde striker, who was also at African Wanderers at some stage.
It was him and another player, whose name I've just forgotten now, but he was one of two guys that we signed from Free State.
Can't be Fees Moloi because he actually joined Free State Stars from Santos, not the other way round…
No, not Fees. It was the other one. But anyway, I think we stayed a day or two extra after the game because of our flight (availability). We were supposed to leave in the evening, so in the morning, some of the players came knocking on Xaba and this other guy's room, to say, "Hey, come guys! We're late! We're supposed to leave now!" We had gone out the night before, so the guys were really tired because we played and then we went out. Normally when you had gone out the night before, that means you slept late and so you'll be tired. But instead of letting them sleep, they came knocking there early in the morning and shouted, "Come, guys! Come, guys! You need to get your stuff and be ready!" But all the other guys were still sleeping. I might be mistaken, but I think Jonathan Solomons was also part of the guys that came knocking there. So, they actually woke them up to get their stuff because they didn't pack, they thought they still had the whole day to pack, we're only leaving late. But after knocking on the door and waking them up to pack, they just ran back to their rooms and they went to go sleep. Only to find out later that those guys packed their stuff, went down to the foyer and they were standing there and waiting there for everybody. So, when all the other guys came for breakfast, we asked them, "But now what's happening? Why have you guys packed?" They said, "No, no, no, aren't we leaving? We're supposed to leave." We told them, "No, no, we're only leaving later at night." I'm telling you, the guys had already packed and they were ready to go when all the other guys were still sleeping, ha, ha, ha. I think why they stood there for two hours is because they must have thought, "Maybe the guys have already left us. "They didn't have phones also to phone and ask, "Where are you?" Everybody just laughed at them.
Ha, ha, ha, shame man. It must have been the longest two hours of their lives standing there, thinking you guys had left them, worst of all with no means of communication. But surely, logic dictates that they should have asked at reception whether you guys had checked out!
Ah, but sometimes, you know in that situation you don't know what to do. But look, it was always nice going on those away trips, where guys would look for someone to prank. It just lifts the team spirit when you can have fun like that. Obviously sometimes the guys would get angry, but afterwards they would just laugh it off and realize it was just a prank.
Go on and tell us more…
I remember when coach Boebie Solomons was our coach, and this one day we were talking. He's a very intelligent guy. He would help you as a player, and you know there is a lot of information that he would share with the players. So, the three Ds of success is something that he constantly reminded us about, just for us to keep in mind all the time. These were determination, dedication and discipline. One day, he asked one of the players what the meaning of the three Ds is, and you could see he had caught the player a little off-guard if his facial expression was anything to go by. The player stood up and said, "No, coach, the 3Ds of success is discipline, determination and… demmitment." The guys started laughing and saying, "What is demmitment?" In trying to explain it, he said, "Commitment, you need to be committed." And the coach said, "Ja, but it's supposed to be the 3Ds. You can't make up your own word here." I think he was a Sotho boy, so he also had difficulties trying to explain himself in English. Look, sometimes when you are not comfortable with a language, you make those silly mistakes.
True. What more do you have for us from that bag of funny football stories?
Remember I told you in last week's edition that myself and Nasief Morris were the only youngsters in the team (at Santos)?
Yeah, yeah…
So, when Nasief left for Greece, Thando Mngomeni joined the team and then it was the two of us who were the youngsters in the team. He is a very funny guy. One day, I think we were preparing to play the Bob Save Super Bowl final against (Mamelodi) Sundowns in 2001. The day before, we went to Durban. You know Thando always used to put this stuff in his hair, maybe for his hair to look nice. His hair used to look straight, whereas most of us darkies and Coloured guys don't have straight hair. The two of us were sharing a room and I said to him, "No, man, give that thing to me also, I also want to put on my hair." What's this stuff called, man? (Starts thinking) I'm gonna give you the name now. But anyway, we put that stuff on your hair and after a while you feel this thing is burning and then you have to wash it off. I think it's called relaxer or something.
Ah yes!
Obviously this was all happening after we had our supper. So, the next day we are playing and now guys look at my hair and are asking, "What's happening with your hair?" I said, "No, nothing." After I scored the goal, the camera was close to me and after the game, people were phoning me and asking, "Hey, why was your hair shining like that on TV?" Afterwards, my girlfriend could see there was a difference. She said, "I could see you relaxed your hair." It's almost like I made my hair look nice and sharp and shiny. I think when I was born and God gave out hair, I was standing last in the line. I didn't get nice hair. So, I had to make my hair shine, and people could see. I knew Thando always used to do that, so for the final, I said, "No, man, let me give it a try." The two of us then relaxed our hair. I even got this one article in one of the newspapers… or even in your newspaper… I celebrated and the camera angle was right next to me, and if you look at that picture, then you can see (that) no, man, this is not this guy's real hair. He did something to make his hair look like that. So, I followed Thando's hair mixture there and we made our hair a little bit extra than it normally is.
Ha, ha, ha, crazy. At least your girlfriend didn't think you had gotten your relaxer from another girl as she knew you had been in camp! Otherwise all hell would have broken loose hey. We're sure our readers will love the next instalment, as it just gets crazier and more bizarre from here.
Ha, ha, ha, I can't wait myself.
STILL IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
First paycheque: R750
Biggest bonus: R25 000
Opponent you respected the most: Brett Evans
Team you would have loved to play for: Kaizer Chiefs
Favourite PSL player right now: Themba Zwane
Best coach played under: Clive Barker
Craziest request from a fan: None, only jersey requests really
