Hola Victor. We've had such a good time with you and the Soccer Laduma readers have expressed how much they are enjoying your stories through the letters they've sent in to the editor. Clearly, you are giving us something to look forward to every week, which is why we cannot wait to hear because the floor is now yours….
There is a story I want to share from 2012, when (Kaizer) Chiefs were playing against (Moroka) Swallows in Dobsonville. I got a CAF appointment to go to Cameroon, so the Chiefs v Swallows game was given to Buyile Gqubule to officiate. While I was sitting in the hotel in Cameroon, I got a message telling me that Buyile Gqubule is messing up the Chiefs v Swallows game. There was a penalty that was retaken three times.
Yoh! That's hectic.
I was stunned and asked myself, "Penalty retaken three times?" When I got back, I was given a game to officiate with Gqubule. I think it was Chippa United versus Orlando Pirates. So, I asked him why the penalty had to be retaken three times. We called Gqubule "Bra Sparks". So, he explained that Siyabonga Nomvethe was encroaching when the penalty was being taken. So, I was like, "Bra Sparks, manje ukhulumile naye (did you talk to him)?" He said he spoke to Nomvethe, but I asked him what he said. Then Bra Sparks replied, "I told him not to encroach." I was like, "No, no, no, Bra Sparks! You can't tell Nomvethe not to encroach because it's a big word." He did not know that the man would not have understood that word. It's a big word.
Ha, ha, ha. You reckon the word would have been too bombastic for Nomvethe to understand?
Ha, ha, ha! I asked him what Nomvethe did after he told him not to encroach. Then Bra Sparks said, "Wangena ku (He got into the) 18 area, so I gave him a yellow card." So, I said, "You see, he did not hear what you were saying. 'Encroach' is a big word." I told him that he should have said, "Ungangeni la (Do not enter here)", instead of using big words like 'encroach'. If he had spoken in IsiZulu from the get-go, then Nomvethe would have heard him. You need to use simple words when you speak to Nomvethe and then you will understand each other very well. When you start using words like 'encroach', you are making it difficult. That's when Bra Sparks understood what I was saying to him, ha, ha, ha. That penalty was retaken until it was saved by Itumeleng Khune, so I was like, "Wena, you contributed to that penalty being saved. With your experience, Bra Sparks, some of our players were blessed through their feet, but uNkulunkulu (God) did not give them everything." If (Gaston) Sirino can't speak English and then you get there and you want to tell him that he should not kick people or that he should mind his words, it won't work because he does not hear what you are saying. You need to meet him halfway and learn a little bit of Spanish and say, "Tranquillo", which means, "Calm down". The sooner the referee understands the language, the better. And it has helped me.
Tell us, how has it helped you?
I was doing a game between Polokwane City and Chiefs. You remember when Knowledge Musona came back for the second time in the country?
Yes, we remember that well.
He was having some injuries and I remember during that game he came on as a late substitute. There was a corner kick for Chiefs and the Polokwane City defenders were closing him down. Musona was dangerous, so they had to make sure they closed him down, but I told them to take it easy. As they were closing him down, Musona was getting angry, and I could see that. I stopped play and I went over to him and started speaking Shona. I spoke to him in Shona. Nelson Mandela used to say when you speak to someone in their language, you speak to the heart. He froze because he probably asked himself how I know Shona. When the game was over, he came over to me and said, "You speak Shona?" I said, "I speak small Shona, but if you provoke me, I will speak more Shona", ha, ha, ha. I told him, "Zvakanaka", which means, "All is good".
Wow, that's impressive. Multilingual man in the middle.
When I went to Zimbabwe, I learned the language. When I went to Malawi, I learned how to tell a player to calm down. When I got onto the field, it really helped me to manage the games properly because players could relate to me. There was a time I was in Uganda and I asked them to teach me what to say when I wanted to tell a player to calm down. They told me it's, "Kakana" and I thought that was simple because it sounds like Kekana, ha, ha, ha. So, when I got back to South Africa, I was given a (Mamelodi) Sundowns game and Denis Onyango was acting like he was angry in the 18 area, and I told him to stop wasting time. Then I said, "Kakana" and he looked so surprised. Denis knew that I was an international referee because there was a time when we met in Madagascar when Uganda was playing there. So, he quickly picked up that I went to KCC, which is Kampala City Council. That's how I learnt a little bit of his language. When he sees me, he smiles because at least there is someone in this country who can speak his language, ha, ha, ha.
Great stuff. We can see you put all your years travelling around the continent, and the world, to good use. And at least in those other countries they didn't teach you swearwords disguised as greetings like they sometimes do in Mzansi, ha, ha, ha. Thank you so much yet again for keeping our readers entertained, Victor. We wonder if your stories will ever run out…
Ha, ha, ha. As referees, we've had so many stories along the way. Thank you so much for the opportunity.
IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
Full name: Tinyiko Victor Hlungwani
Marital status: Married
Car: Hyundai H1 and Mazda Sting
Boots: Joma
Favourite TV programme:
Giyani – Land Of Blood and news channel
Favourite food: Lamb, spinach and pap
Facebook or Twitter: Facebook
Siyagobhoza or interviews: Interviews
Favourite footballer: Daine Klate
Favourite celebrity: None
