Mr Hlungwani, week three it is, and we are still going strong. Soccer Laduma readers are loving your stories if the feedback we're getting is anything to go by, and we can bet that they can't wait to hear what more you have to say…
Ha, ha, ha. You know what's interesting about being a referee? You don't get substituted. You finish the match. You are guaranteed 90 minutes, plus optional time. So, there are players who are sometimes on the bench and they like to bother us by talking all the time. So, we would go to the bench and say, "You are questioning my decision, but you are on the bench. If you were good, you would have been inside", ha, ha, ha. So, I tell them to keep quiet because I am in the starting line-up as a referee, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha. You are actually right, referees have a much better chance of finishing the 90 minutes.
It's like when I was on the field and there were players who would always just fall, I'd say, "My friend, they will substitute you." The one game I really enjoyed was the Carling Black Label Cup. I officiated the first Carling Black Label Cup match and there was a guy called Chiukepo Msowoya. They put him in the line-up, but he was falling all over the place, and I said to him, "The supporters gave you a chance to play and you are busy falling. They will substitute you", ha, ha, ha. I told him that they would SMS for him to be substituted. I told him that I would finish the match and that he would be substituted. I kept on telling him to stand up and he did not fall again. But after 50 minutes, when the substitution was being made, his number came up and he had to go off. I said, "I told you", ha, ha, ha. You know when the number goes up, sometimes the players look the other way as if they can't see. So, I said, "I told you, your number is up. You must go."
His number really was up, literally and figuratively speaking!
As he was walking off, I said, "You see, me I finish the match." The Carling Black Label Cup is a nice cup, ha, ha, ha.
Well, sounds like the tournament gave you some hilarious moments that you will never forget.
When we went to a match, we would drive ourselves. There was a referee called Matthew Dyer. So, Matthew was travelling with (Sandile) Dilikane and a few other guys and he was the only one with a driver's license. So, when they got to Durban, they gave them a (VW) Golf. So, when you reverse with a Golf, the gear goes forward, not backwards. Turns out the passengers did not know about cars. Matthew was struggling to reverse because he was used to taking the gear backwards when he wanted to reverse. So, he said, "Dilikane, this car does not want to reverse." Do you know that they pushed the car? Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, no ways!
I am telling you, they pushed it so that he could go into gear one and go. They did not know how to reverse the car, so the best thing for them was to push it, ha, ha, ha. Imagine, pushing an Avis car because they think that it does not have reverse, ha, ha, ha.
That's hilarious. Go on…
There are always some funny stories with referees. You know when we travel (to other countries), they usually don't know how to pronounce our names. When you go to places like Angola or Congo, they would know how to pronounce Victor, but they struggled with my surname Hlungwani. So, guys like Lwandile Mfiki and Zakhele (Siwela) would laugh at me. There was a time we went to Congo with a match commissioner who was from Egypt, and he could not say Zakhele. He was pronouncing the name in a funny way and it was like payback for me because they were laughing at me. Those are some of the things we experienced as referees. There are times we got left by planes, ha, ha, ha. I remember (Victor) Gomes was once not happy because we got left by a plane and he had to go back to work, and I was the only one who had the number of the guy from the federation. Now everyone was looking at me and I was trying to tell this guy that the plane left us, but my French was not so good. But I put some words together. I was like, "Thank you, my little French helped us." They changed our tickets and we got on a flight the following day.
So, you saved the day. Great stuff.
You know when you go to countries like Congo-Brazzaville, they don't speak English there. We landed in Point- Noir, and we were going to Dolisie. AC Leopards play there. I did not hear anyone speaking English. At the hotel, in the morning, we were having tea and we needed milk. I held my breast, and they understood what I was saying, so the guy was like le lait (milk). Le lait means milk in French. In the afternoon, we wanted to have chips. So, they showed us a shop where we could get chips. But chips for them is like Simba chips. They didn't understand that we were talking about French fries. When you want chips that side, you should say French fries. That's when we knew that the sooner we learned French, the better. I am busy learning more French. I am sure by next year, I will be fluent.
Ha, ha, ha, not a bad idea at all. It will come in handy. Thank you so much for your time, Victor. We are already rubbing our hands in glee because we know that you are going to return with some more crazy stories next week.
Let's go learn French, my friend, ha, ha, ha.
IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
Full name: Tinyiko Victor Hlungwani
Marital status: Married
Car: Hyundai H1 and Mazda Sting
Boots: Joma
Favourite TV programme:
Giyani – Land Of Blood and news channel
Favourite food:
Lamb, spinach and pap
Facebook or Twitter: Facebook
Siyagobhoza or interviews: Interviews
Favourite footballer: Daine Klate
Favourite celebrity: None
