Wiseman, it's been a while since we last spoke to you. Judging by how many funny stories you had to share with us the last time we were 'In Touch' with you, we thought to give you a call for another round of rib-cracking ones.
Thanks for the opportunity, my brother. Yes, it's been a while.
So, let's hear what you have in store for our readers this time around…
One of the funniest moments I can remember happened when I was still playing for Polokwane City a few years ago. The story has to do with Puleng Tlolane, who is now Puleng Marema. So, we were playing a game against Cape Town City away from home, which we won 2-0. In the dressing room, I was teasing him because he was on the bench and I said to him, "Don't worry, boy, we are going to win this MTN8 for you." Then he replied by saying, "Playing or not, I earn more than you and your parents combined." I just got humiliated like that, ha, ha, ha.
End of discussion! It can't get more personal than that hey, ha, ha, ha. Come on, man, you had to have a comeback for that, surely!
Everyone just laughed. I said, "It's fine. This is your father's team, so it's fine." Then he replied further, telling me, "Don't worry, I'll buy you drinks." Indeed, he bought me drinks after the game.
Well, you see, you mustn't talk too much when you are playing ahead of a guy who's earning more than you. By the way, did you not take offence to what he said and try to exchange blows with him?
We are best friends, so we don't take offence. We don't play for the same team at the moment, but we are still friends to this day.
Good to hear that not even the size of your respective wallets could get in-between your treasured friendship. Okay, let's move on to other stories…
In our last game of the season against Venda Football Academy two weekends ago, I was the captain, so our kit manager (Fhedzisani) Makongoza had to come to me to give me the captain's armband. He walked towards me slowly, holding the armband, and he was smiling. He gave me the armband and said, "Today it's going to rain heavily. This Tsonga boy is the captain!? Things can change." Imagine, he said that before the game and everyone laughed at me like I was a stupid boy or something, ha, ha, ha.
At least we hope your teammates took you seriously as skipper for the day.
Yes, because I was the oldest, so they had to listen. Obviously, we joke off the field, but when we step over the white line and onto the field, it's business as usual. They did take me seriously and they listened to my instructions. They were willing to comply and fight for the badge. It was awkward being captain that day because of the circumstances that the club was in, but it was such an honour being entrusted with that responsibility on that day. Another story I can remember from our kit manager is one that happened quite recently. I have many stories about him, in fact, ha, ha, ha. So, there is a lady in the team called Khodani. On Monday, I went for a massage and Makongoza saw me, but he did not say anything. I went again on Tuesday and Thursday. When I went on Friday, he said, "The way you spend more time outside the pitch than on it, you should just retire." The young lady laughed when he said that. Since that day, I never went back to the massage bed, ha, ha, ha.
Eish! Keep them coming, man. Seems like the kit manager is quite the character in the team.
He definitely is. What a character! At training, we have these water bottles that have our names and numbers on them. So, one of the players used the wrong water bottle and it did not sit well with Makongoza. He then lashed out, "If you played as well as you drink water, this team would be at the top of the table." Everyone just laughed at the poor boy. Makongoza is an interesting and funny guy.
King of barbs, ha, ha, ha. Before we let you go, what more do you have in the tank?
Some time ago at (Black) Leopards, we had coach Floyd (Mogale). He came to Leopards from (Mamelodi) Sundowns with high hopes, and he was a great guy. He would tell us about coach Pitso (Mosimane) and how much he wanted us to fight and eat well so that we could play. He was teasing us this one time and saying we had spaghetti legs, ha, ha, ha.
Hayibo!
He was saying that we should eat more, so he made a suggestion. He said we should start contributing R500 each, every month, so that we could start eating more. He was telling us we should have fruits and all these other things. One of the young boys complained, "If you take R500 out of my salary, then I won't have money for transport for the rest of the month." Then coach Floyd said, "No, it's fine, let's cancel the whole thing." Ha, ha, ha.
In this tough economy, we definitely can understand the boy's dilemma. Thank you so much for your time, Wiseman. Hard luck on Lidoda Duvha's relegation from the Motsepe Foundation Championship this season, and hopefully you bounce back straight away next season. Nice touch offloading some of that stress with this light-hearted conversation, and by the looks of it, this isn't the last of your appearances on this page.
Thank you so much for the opportunity.
IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
Nickname: Madlaya Tinyonga
Marital status: Married
Car: None
Boots: Puma
Favourite TV programme: Papa Penny Ahee
Favourite food: Pap and mopani worms
Facebook or Twitter: Facebook
Siyagobhoza or interviews: Siyagobhoza
Favourite footballer: Kevin De Bruyne
