Hola Siya! You've recently left SuperSport United, having been there for a number of years. Well, that's not particularly the reason we're having you here, we just want to have a laugh. We figure since you've been a pro footballer for a while you'd have quite a few stories to get Soccer Laduma readers giggling non-stop.
Let's go for it!
No problem. When I was at SuperSport, there was Bra Joe (Joseph Boshielo) – he was the kit manager. This one time, he wanted an omelette, but he said he wanted an envelope. He said, "Can I have an envelope." I remember he used to mix up a lot of English words. So, we were there at the hotel, and you know that you order your eggs. So, he said, "Can I have an envelope." And we were like, "Bra Joe, which one is that one?"
Ha, ha, ha, we can imagine the confusion on the part of the chef when the 'envelope' was called for…
I wonder where he is now, because he left during Covid times, but I still remember that day he asked for an envelope, ha, ha, ha. The chef was really confused, and we tried to help, but he knew what he wanted. He was insisting on an envelope.
What a story. After all, an omelette and an envelope can both fold. Let's move on.
I remember Rowen Fernandez used to play pranks on players. He would put condoms in your jeans while you were still busy training, and he would target the guys he knew stayed with their wives. Imagine when you got home, your wife would find condoms in your jeans. He did that to someone at SuperSport. I wasn't there, but I heard the story. He did that to one of the guys and this guy went home, and then when the wife was emptying his pockets to do the washing, she found the condoms in his pockets.
There was some explaining to do. Imagine the stress of it all!
Fernandez didn't care, everything (to him) was a prank. So, that guy came to training with his wife so that they could sort out the issue. Fernandez confessed that he was the one who had put the condoms in the pocket. It was crazy. But that's how Fernandez was. I'm told there was one time at (Orlando) Pirates when Williams Okpara was using the bathroom and Fernandez was just sprinkling water on him while he was sitting there doing the number two. So, Okpara came out and he wanted to beat Fernandez up, ha, ha, ha. I don't needto tell you that Okpara knew who the culprit was, so he went straight to him, ha, ha, ha. Fernandez is a guy that loved pranks.
Ha, ha, ha, two former goalkeepers at each other's throats, that must have been so much fun.
Another character I played with is Moeneeb Josephs. He was such a character. He would always show his butt. Out of the blue, for no reason, he would just display it for all to see. One thing I remember about him is that he used to take out his false teeth a lot, especially when he wanted to address us. Imagine!
So how on earth would you take him seriously when he took out his teeth just as he was about to deliver a serious speech?
Yeah, that's how he was. We would be sitting there, gathered around and then he would take out his teeth, just so that he could sound funny. But at that time, it was a serious matter. He is one guy who was never serious, ha, ha. There was a time he came to training and he forgot his asthma pump. Usually, his asthma pump would be next to him, but he forgot it. So, he said, "No, today I am not going to go in there. I am going to die." So, he wouldn't train – instead, he would just sit out, ha, ha. That was Moeneeb for you.
What a character indeed.
And then there was Erwin Isaacs at Wits. I don't know how many hours it takes to get to Cape Town (from Jo'burg), but apparently, he would take half the time to get to the Mother City. So, if going to Cape Town takes 14 hours, then he would take eight hours to get there. He was driving an (Audi) S3.
That car flies!
It was a brand new S3. He had a lot of things done on that S3.
Like what?
He would take out his (number) plates, ha, ha. He would push that car. I remember there was a time when Moneeb needed his car to be collected in Cape Town, and then Erwin offered to get the car, but Moneeb quickly said, "No, thank you", ha, ha, ha. Moeneeb said he would find someone else because he knew that he could not trust that guy. The club would offer plane tickets, but Erwin would choose to drive to Cape Town just because he believed so much in his driving and he would take half the time or an hour extra. If it was 14 hours, he would take eight hours.
Well, "Apples" was a speed merchant both on and off the field. That's where we're going to pause this week. Thank you for your time, Siya. Looking forward to some more hilarious stories in the next edition.
Thank you for the opportunity.
IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
Nickname: Tata
Marital status: Married
Car: VW Polo TSi
Boots: adidas X speed
Favourite teammate: Xola Mlambo (Bidvest Wits)
Favourite roommate: Keanan Phillips
Best friend in football: Iqraam Rayners
Favourite food: Pasta
Favourite footballer: Teboho Mokoena
