Mzolisto, thank you for your time as we do this for the last time. It seems we have developed an insatiable appetite for your tasty stories, which should explain why we keep coming back for more, ha, ha, ha. Let's go for it.
I can remember the story of Fanyana Dhladhla – he was on loan from Mamelodi Sundowns and he was known as Dhladhla at the time.
Yes, he later changed his surname to Mokoena. We wonder what he's up to these days.
He was a winger, and I think this was around 2009 or 2010. Ernst Middendorp was the coach and then when he returned for another spell with the club, he recalled Fanyana to join Maritzburg. When Fanyana returned, he had changed his surname to Mokoena. Obviously, he wanted to have him in the team because Fanyana was this good winger who was speedy. When he arrived, Middendorp put him on against Golden Arrows at Harry Gwala Stadium. He played him on the right wing. So, you know sometimes as a player your first touch can let you down and you try as much as possible to get into the game, but you can't. That was the story with Fanyana that day. So, on two or three occasions, Middendorp would turn to look at me and he would say, "Zola, what is this player? This is not the Fanyana we wanted. We wanted Fanyana Dhladhla. This is Mokoena. This is the wrong player. It's not the same player. I wanted Dhladhla, not Mokoena." Ha, ha, ha.
Classic. Shame man, the pace had flown out of the window along with the old surname, ha, ha, ha. So, did the coach end up taking him off?
You know what? I am not sure if we won that game or not, but he took him off and brought on someone else. Middendorp was angry. Middendorp is funny, especially when he is angry, ha, ha, ha.
Sure. That's one coach who will not hesitate to take you off when you are having a bad day at the office.
Ha, ha, ha. I don't really know what happened to Fanyana Dhladhla, but I don't think he stayed at the club for long after that. I think he left and I haven't heard from him since. That was Middendorp for you, ha, ha, ha.
Go on and tell us more…
Eish, there is a story I just remembered. There was a time when coach Middendorp was mad at me. We were playing a match in Johannesburg. So, after the match, he decided to stay over. He gave me his bag to take back to Maritzburg. It was a responsibility for me and our goalkeeper coach, Pernell McKop, who is now at Stellenbosch FC. We took his bag and checked it in before flying out to Durban. When we got out of the plane after we landed in Durban, we forgot his bag…
Wait? You did what? Ha, ha, ha.
We forgot his bag there, my brother…
You were basically inviting the German's wrath.
Ha, ha, ha. We forgot where the bags come out at the airport. We got to Maritzburg and he arrived at a later time. When he arrived, he was happy and all. Then he said, "Zola, where is my bag? I need to get something from it."
We can actually feel your soul leaving your body just seconds after he asked that question, ha, ha…
Yho! I was like, "What bag, coach?" He said, "I gave you my bag to take to the airport." Then I remembered, and I asked Pernell if he had taken the bag and he said he didn't, ha, ha, ha. Then Middendorp went berserk! When he goes crazy, he will always say, "Mando!" So, he asked, "How can you leave my bag? All my important things are in that bag. My passport and everything is in that bag." Then I was like, "I will call Quintin (Jettoo)." That was because Quintin stays in Durban, so when he comes over for training in Pietermaritzburg, then he would bring the bag with. I told Middendorp that Quintin had found the bag. He jumped up and down and said, "I don't care! I don't care!" Ha, ha, ha. That was so funny, but we were so scared, my man.
Man, that must have been some moment when he started jumping around! Meantime, we can imagine how scared you were. But it also seems you had quite a good relationship with the man.
He would always laugh at me whenever we were off and not training. So, maybe I would meet him somewhere and normally I would wear a Puma T-shirt and a tracksuit. There are a few tracksuits that I have which are so bright in colour. So, Middendorp would often laugh at me and say, "Zola, with all your style, I don't understand what you are wearing." He would always make jokes and laugh at me. Then I would say, "Coach, you don't have a fashion sense." He also likes commenting on my Facebook posts whenever I post a picture. He would say, "What is this colour?" Ha, ha, ha.
Clearly you had some good times with Middendorp. He is such a disciplinarian that some people will be surprised to learn that he has a lighter side to him. Well, thank you so much for your time. It's been a pleasure hearing about some of the funniest moments you've enjoyed in your, uhm, colourful football journey. From your time at Manning Rangers, to Santos and then Maritzburg, you have had an incredible time of it and we will definitely miss you on our pages. Who knows, maybe we will have you back in future.
Thank you so much for the opportunity. It's been a pleasure sharing these stories with the readers of Soccer Laduma.
By Tshepang Mailwane
IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
Nickname: Mzolisto
Marital status: Married to Portia
Car: Toyota Corolla Professional and Toyota Tazz
Boots: Puma
Favourite TV programme: The River
Favourite food: SA traditional food
Facebook or Twitter: Both
Siyagobhoza or interviews: Interviews
Favourite footballer: Zinedine Zidane
Favourite celebrity: Pep Guardiola
