Coach, what a good laugh we had last week. We're sure this week's instalment couldn't have come soon enough for a lot of our readers who must have been so entertained by what you had to dish out. We love coaches with a sense of humour, as you don't get a lot of those with football having become such a serious business, ha, ha, ha. Take it away!
I remember there was a time when I was at Dondol Stars. We had some crazy characters while I was there, and everything was fun because we always knew that someone was going to do something. I was working with coach Victor Tshabalala, and he was the head coach. It was my first season with Dondol. We had players from Alexandra in the team, so on Saturdays after the game, they would go back to Alex. They would not go back to the clubhouse. They obviously had friends and they would do whatever it was over the weekend. Then, on Monday, we would come back for training, but coach Victor would be angry that the boys went to Alex and not the clubhouse. He knew that they were drinking, so he wanted to find a way to separate them so that they would not be together at training. There was a player named Lindokuhle and there was Minenhle and Samkelo. Those were the three players he wanted to separate so that they would no longer be friends.
Ha, ha, ha, the troublesome trio. But was it even possible to separate them?
So, this is what he would do.
Yes…
Whenever we were at training and these players were standing together, he would shout from wherever he was standing and say, "Lindo, do 20 push-ups with Minenhle." So, Minenhle would complain and say, "Coach, I have a problem with my hand." Then coach Victor would say, "It's fine, do push-ups for your friends. Do 60 push-ups." Ha, ha, ha. So, it was his way of trying to get them not to be together at training, ha, ha, ha.
What an interesting plan from coach Victor to separate the inseparable!
There was this one Monday when he was suspecting that the boys had not slept. So, he was like, "I am going to make them run." There was this drill called "Suicide". So, all these boys were U23s. Minenhle's nickname was "Ramagalela". When they were running, Minenhle was at the back and the coach was like, "We need to change your nickname" because he was at the back when the team was running, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, yes, he can't have a nickname like that if he is lagging behind when it comes to the running.
Those were some funny moments at the club.
Great moments.
There were these two boys in the team who were smoking some weed. So, if one of them made a mistake in training, you would hear someone saying, "They gave you the wrong weed today." Ha, ha, ha. Those boys were crazy, and they were interesting characters. There was a time when one of the boys was sharing a story that they went to a river, and they were smoking. While they were smoking, there were two cops behind them. So, the boy who was smoking said to the one who brought the weed, "Today, the weed you brought is so strong. It's so strong that it makes me feel like there are cops here." Ha, ha, ha. But the police were actually there, but he thought he was seeing things because of what he was smoking, ha, ha, ha.
That's a confession right there. No need to go to court, ha, ha, ha. That must have been one strong blunt he was having.
Eish, those boys were so funny. I remember we went to Durban for the play-offs. I was working with my co-coach Khuliso. We got to Durban and started preparing for the play-offs. We had a training session, but we had booked accommodation where they did not cater food.
Eish! That must have been a nightmare to deal with.
So, we obviously had to make a plan by buying food and cooking for ourselves. We were using our two kitmen and our one driver and the team manager would have time to prepare food for the players while they were training. So, after the training session, Khuliso said, "Let's go, gents. I hope our chefs have prepared a top meal for you." So, Thabang Mphahlele (kit manager) was not happy and he was like, "Coach, ke mang (who is a) chef? Have you ever heard me saying I want to be a chef in your life? What's a chef?" So, Khuliso was like, "A chef is somebody who prepares meals for people." And then Thabang was like, "Does that mean your wife is a chef?', ha, ha, ha.
That's hilarious.
Ha, ha, ha, it was such a funny moment, and it took us 30 to 40 minutes to try to resolve that issue that someone called the other person a chef, ha, ha, ha. Imagine going for so long to resolve an issue like that. It was chaos, but that's what I loved about being there, ha, ha, ha. We had some good moments that we will always laugh about.
Thank you so much for your time, coach. It was a pleasure having you on this page for the past two weeks. Like the good chef that you are, you cooked some really crazy stories for our readers.
Thank you so much for the opportunity. Yes, we had some amazing times while I was there. I will definitely never forget those moments.
By Tshepang Mailwane
