Hola Bokang, we haven't heard from you in such a long time. Good to see you're still alive and kicking. To say you've been around the block would be an understatement, having played for the likes of Free State Stars, Bidvest Wits, and Maritzburg United. So much to share! Where do we even start?
Ha, ha, ha. Thank you for the opportunity, my brother. Let's start at Free State Stars because there are a lot of funny stories from my time there. There was a time when we were fighting relegation and we had muti men. We would change muti men because we were losing. We had about four muti men that season. So, this one muti man came to the dressing room. We did not know who this person was in the dressing room, but we were just told that we should follow his instructions. So, this guy brought a chicken. It was alive.
And kicking, ha, ha, ha!
Then, there was water with some stuff mixed into it. We did not know what they had mixed in that water. They told us that we should all get undressed.
As in birthday suit?
Yes, fully naked. Do you remember Andrea Fileccia, the Belgian guy?
Yes, and we hope he too is alive and kicking.
So, Fileccia was busy asking what's happening. We told him that we all needed to get undressed. So, we were told that we had to jump over that chicken. If you were a defender, you had to say something like "We are not going to concede", while you jumped over the chicken. If you were a striker, you would have to say something like, "I want to score goals today", ha, ha, ha. As we were doing that, I was behind Fileccia. That man was angry that day. He was speaking in his language, and you could tell that he was very angry, ha, ha, ha. He could not understand what was happening. After jumping over the chicken, the muti man was standing behind the wall and he would pour water over every player. Andrea wanted to take a shower after that water was poured over him, but we were all told that we were not allowed to take a shower. The way he expressed himself that day was really funny, ha, ha, ha.
Was that water smelling?
Yes, it was smelling. It was smelling, ha, ha, ha. He was not happy at all. At Free State Stars, you could not refuse when the muti man came. You had to. He was shocked to see such. There was another incident where we had to eat Vaseline.
Unamanga (You lie)! Ha, ha, ha!
I am telling you. A spoon of Vaseline. We had Vaseline in the dressing room. We were losing games, so we were just told that we should do whatever they tell us. We were all surprised to see Vaseline and we had to eat a spoon. It tastes like castor oil when it melts in your mouth. We did a lot of things at that club, ha, ha, ha.
Did you at least win?
We lost, ha, ha, ha. That's funny.
You are on a roll, Bokang. The lengths some PSL clubs would go to, to win a football match. Let's move on…
There is another funny moment I can remember from Free State Stars. During one of the training sessions, Sibusiso Mthethwa elbowed Paulus Masehe. Whenever Paulus was angry, he would kick anything and everyone that was in his way, ha, ha, ha. So, after he was elbowed, he started with his flying kicks and the training session had to be stopped, my brother.
Well, not surprising. With Masehe, it was always horses for courses.
He was so angry that he started kicking everyone. The coach was Giovanni Solinas and he was like, "Paulus, why are you kicking the players?" in his Italian accent. It was really funny. Solinas was still new in the country, so he did not understand the culture. He was wondering why Paulus was kicking everyone. In Sesotho, Paulus said, "Here we work. We kick each other." Then Solinas was like, "What are you saying? I don't understand", ha, ha, ha. He was shocked that we were busy kicking each other, ha, ha, ha.
What an eye-opener that must have been for poor Solinas!
When Paulus was angry, no one wanted to be close to him, ha, ha, ha. Because he would kick everyone. Paulus was a big character, and it was good to have him as a teammate. There are so many things that happened at Stars. I remember there was a time when we were losing so much, and we were facing relegation. Everyone was praying loud in the dressing room and then coach Themba (Sithole) started praying in Portuguese. Then Paulus was like, "You know things are tough when you hear coach Themba praying in Portuguese", ha, ha, ha. Eish, there were so many funny moments. Coach Themba knows Portuguese, so that's the language he was praying in, ha, ha, ha.
Talk about improvising. Perhaps coach Themba was tired of praying in one language and yet the team kept losing games. Who knows, maybe his supplications were being lost in translation, ha, ha, ha. Mfowethu, you've been brilliant. More reason to bring you back next week.
Thank you so much, my brother. I'll definitely have more stories to share with you next week.
By Tshepang Mailwane
IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
Nickname: Grosso
Marital status: In a relationship
Car: None
Boots: PUMA FUTURE
Favourite teammate: Mohau Mokate
Favourite roommate: Paulus Masehe
Favourite food: Pap and pork
Favourite footballer: Themba Zwane
Best friend in football: Moeketsi Sekola
