Alfred, it's been a while. You've actually been around the PSL for a number of seasons, and we can bet that you have some funny stories that will leave Soccer Laduma readers in stitches.
Yeah, ha, ha, ha. There are quite a number of funny stories from the time I spent at Tshakhuma (Tsha Madzivhandila).
Good to know. Well, let's go for it…
When I got there, the team was still based in Venda for a few months before we moved to Polokwane. The guys there liked eating pap, a lot. There was a time when we were going to play in Cape Town, so we had to drive from Louis Trichardt to OR Tambo International (Airport) in Johannesburg. That meant that we would leave early. The bus would pick us up at around 05h00. Just before leaving Louis Trichardt, there were guys who wanted to go to KFC. In the morning, not many people are in the mood or have an appetite for pap at 05h00. So, some of the guys would get Streetwise with pap.
At that time of day nogal!?
Yes, that was their breakfast. At that time, the only thing some of us wanted to have was coffee, but the guys would have Streetwise with pap. Even some of theguys in management would be eating pap. Can you imagine eating pap and chicken at that time, ha, ha. We laughed about it.
Ha, ha, ha, that is, for sure, such an interesting choice for breakfast!
We got to Cape Town, but pap is not something that the people in Cape Town have so much. I'd say rice is what they have most of the time. So, during supper time, they served rice and there was a group of players who said that they were not going to eat rice. They wanted to have pap and they were serious about it. When I look back at that squad, I think the guys from Venda were about four or five in number. At the hotel, they had to cook pap specially for those guys. So, when they made the pap, they put it in those big silver catering dishes and that's what the players would dish up from. Between the four or five guys, they finished that pap, ha, ha, ha. Their plates were so full, it looked like a birthday cake, ha, ha, ha. And even if they were not eating pap, their plates would always be so full, ha, ha, ha.
Talk about players with a big appetite hey, with a particular liking for their pap.
Some of the guys would even take pictures of their food. Those guys could eat, ha, ha, ha. And imagine eating pap when we have a game the following day. They also would not mind having pap as a pre-match meal, ha, ha, ha.
Obviously it's the kind of meal that can easily put anyone to sleep after eating it. So, how did they manage to dish up pap pre-match and then dish out good performances?
It was normal for those guys. It does not have any impact on them. That's how much they love pap, ha, ha, ha. I grew up in Cape Town and pap is not something I would have regularly. I would have rice most of the time.
As a lad from Khayelitsha down in the Cape, how did you survive in Venda?
The good thing is that I had Miguel Timm, Brandon Theron and Brighton Mhlongo. We stayed in one complex, so we could go out to a restaurant or we would just cook. Brighton can cook, so can I. As long as it was not pap. Brandon cannot even cook. I won't even say his cooking is bad. Even now, he can't cook at all. It's takeaways for him. It's a zero out of 10 for him, ha, ha, ha.
What more can you remember from the time you stayed with those three guys?
There was a time when we had electricity problems at our complex. Thabo Mnyamane and (Nicholus) Lukhubeni were there. So, when there was no electricity, the gate would not open. There were several times we would arrive late at training because the gate would not open. Even on days when we had to go to a game, the bus would have to wait for us because the gate would not open. We would wait, like, close to 20 or 30 minutes because we had to wait for the landlord to buy us electricity. There was electricity for the apartments, but the gate had its own separate meter. We found out after a while that you could buy electricity for the gate and go claim it from the landlord. So, we couldn't get out.
Ha, ha, ha, isn't that hectic? So, did the club believe your story?
At first, when there are five or six guys who are late for training, it disturbs the plans of the coach. They did not understand it, until they saw themselves that we were not lying.
How did they find out?
There were some guys who would come park their cars at our complex when we went to a game, but they could not get in because the gate was not opening, ha, ha, ha. That's how they saw that we were telling the truth. It was hectic. I was at Tshakhuma for one season, but you'd swear I was there for five seasons because of all the stories. But I did enjoy myself while I was there.
We think it's because of all that pap, ha, ha, ha. Okay, we'll stop here for this week. Get a plate or two of pap in the meantime and we will return with more crazy stories next week.
Ha, ha, ha, pap's not for me man! Thank you so much.
By Tshepang Mailwane
IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
Nickname: Ali
Marital status: Married
Car: VW Golf GTi
Boots: Puma Future
Favourite teammate: Bongani Sam
Favourite Roommate: Brandon Theron
Favourite food: Umphokoqo (crumbly pap and amasi)
Favourite footballer: Thiago Silva
Best friend in football: I have friendships
